Well, it’s week five of the ten-week quarter here and midterms are pretty much upon us. What have I to say about my experience as a first-year in college so far? Here are a few thoughts:
It’s incredibly different for many different reasons. The environment and the vibe here is so unlike what I have experienced back home. I think it has a little to do with the regional separation, but mostly because of the type of atmosphere I am surrounded by. Back home, I definitely felt more…comfortable. Yes, that might have been due to the fact that I had been attending the same school for most of my life, but I think it also due in a large part to the socially conservative environment there. Everything was so safe, so controlled. Of course I’d be lying if I said that it was a perfectly blameless place, but it was definitely quite “perfect” in comparison. I am not saying this out of pride or spite, but merely out of factual discourse. I actually loved where I was before. I enjoyed the guarantee that no matter who you met, the people there would be at least somewhat similar in beliefs and ethical values. I loved that the “default norm” was Christianity. However, at the same time, I realize that that was the problem. I grew too comfortable. When I enrolled, I knew that it would be vastly different, and that’s fine. In fact, I welcomed it, because I believed that this would be a way to get out of my comfort zone and strengthen my faith. It’s just that sometimes it’s hard (and I know it’s supposed to be). Now philosophies, such as atheism and post-modernism, are the norms, and Christianity is the minority. It’s tough, especially when all the professors denounce and try to humiliate the values and beliefs I was raised with, but fortunately I was blessed to be able to find a few places to drop an anchor. I’m still trying to find the right campus ministry to join, but I’ve met a bunch of great people in the process so far.
My family visited me last weekend, which was a blessing. The college had a Parents’ Weekend with different programs and lectures, but my parents decided not to waste the time or the money on it. We just spent time together, catching up and just talking about various subjects. Seeing them for a couple days was one of the best things that has happened here so far. The hard part is that seeing them again made me miss them even more when they left. I know it might seem overly sentimental when I say this, but I truly do miss my family, as well as everyone else back at home. In fact, the more time I spend here in this new environment, the more I miss everything about home. This is not to say that I do not enjoy my time spent here, but merely that I realize how different it is here and how comfortable my home had become. I know that some people might shun hanging on so tightly to my home and to the past, stating that I “must learn to let go.” While I agree that this is the time in my life to become more independent and responsible, this does not mean that I cannot miss my home. Not at all. I believe that it is always important to remember to keep those you love close to you, regardless of how old you are.
I was fortunate enough to have my high school marching band travel down here for a competition this weekend. It was so weird watching them perform without actually participating, but I am so happy to have had the opportunity to hang out with my friends from back home. We had so much fun, especially going to a mall, talking, and catching up. For a day, I forgot that I had left and went to college, and once more I felt as if I belonged, as if I was exactly where I was supposed to be. I almost expected to hop on the bus with them and ride back home, but then I realized that my place is not there anymore, despite always being welcome there. It was with sorrow that I said farewell to everyone, but I know that I will see them soon when I return home for vacation, and I am looking forward to it.
This past week or so has been stressful having to worry about finishing a large load of homework, especially to get ready for the weekends. However, the weekends with my family and friends made it all worth it. Amidst the toil and hardship, I found a short, but priceless period of joy that I will treasure forever. I believe it is those bits of sunshine that make life wonderful.
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